Masturbation is the new dating

Dry those tears you big baby there’s hope for you yet. Masturbation has just become the new dating, knocking actual dating to number 3 just behind suicide.

And you’re not alone, according to a poll of 100 of my closest friends, 90% masturbate vigorously while 9% date frequently and on a regular basis. Rhonda will be missed.

On the rise is genital mutilation.  

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