When reading a blog, rarely do I care what makes you an expert. I do not research your validity, your background, college, current profession or name. It’s the topic Mr. Anderson…it’s what I Googled. It’s what returned. Where are these people searching for answers on your background on the internet?
It smells. It’s the taste. Your facts sound good, prestigious…I didn’t get past the third word in your bio. Keep it short, keep it factual, shrugs. Make it sound like music to my ears.
My phone doesn’t know who you are yet.
- Do you watch The Sopranos? Meadow is loosing her shit
- What is a question that makes you feel good?
- What year is The Sopranos set in?
- What does 4:44 mean?
The end of 2015 and for the better part of 2016 I subconsciously made it my mission. Places I got kicked out of and in no particular order:
- A massage. The massage tech said and I quote “I don’t think our energies are going to mesh”. No duh.
- Comedy school…they turned the mic off on me. Does this mean I graduated?
- Uber…several times. My current rating is now 3.0 and dropping
- My job a.k.a fired
- My apartment. They sent me a letter stating they would not be renewing my lease
- My therapist…and let me tell you she was no Dr. Melfi. She had a hard time living in the present moment
- Roommate #1. He wanted sex and I wanted to be invisible. It’s my fault. I let him masturbate in front of me and forgot all about it. It meant nothing to me but I can understand the mixed messaging.
- Roommate #2. No words.
- Roommate #3. Never move in with family if you can help it.
- Thai food restaurant. It’s not my fault the food was inedible but it is my duty to compliment the chef on attempting to make me throw up.
That almost averages to one a month…impressive!