Tag Archives: accident

2/25/2017 9:05pm EST

2/25/2017 9:05pm  – 9:46pm EST

>> Click here>> Whoa…then I had to play Black Rob #whoa.  I just heard SHeTher, #RemyMa went in and made her comedic debut at Nicki Minaj’s expense, and I immediately got to work.  I could not be lazy. I could not be still. I am typing this right now. She goes in on this track and you could feel it coming from a mile away. We are overdue for a rap beef.

A lot of things happened today:

  1. I exercised my religious beliefs today and the lady responded with , “now, that’s crazy” LMAO….still funny.
  2. Jordan Peele got an A+ with “Get Out“. Go see that shit so we can talk about it.  If you have seen that shit, let’s talk!!
  3. Master Blaster was in my head all day “jammin til the break ove dawn“.
  4. Billy really does have great taste in music.  He needs to share his playlists with me.
  5. ad23d4e1-7f06-42c1-af67-8a183196d131
  6. Got BLESSED!! Thank you God. God bless you!!
  7. Warmed my hands under Bill’s balls in the Uber.
  8. All Uber drivers…all of y’all need to watch Vampire in Brooklyn…there is one scene in there that is seasoned to perfection for y’alls asses. Also, f**k you too.  If you know your car scent is sour…and I tell you…don’t act like you didn’t know this car STANK.  Stop driving; take your car to your nearest car wash/detail IMMEDIATELY. Two words: tax write-off. Uber I blame you for this. I am sure your customers leaving their jobs or homes, they hate…really hate to have any part of their day ruined sitting in one of your “VIP” level cars not knowing that the driver secretly hates his passengers (yeah fellas it’s mostly you)…GET IT TOGETHER!  YouTube has a bootleg version of Vampire in Brooklyn and if you choose to watch, skip ahead to minute 31:31 and get your life.
  9. Lastly sit back, relax and listen to some Stevie Wonder and roll up…it just feels good.  Here’s one of my faves to get you started:

Why Uber is the best job in the world

Anybody with a car can do it!! Anybody!! There are no yearly performance reviews. They give you notice when your documents are about to expire to keep you driving, like an employer is supposed to. They keep you informed so you can make arrangements because they depend on you and your vehicle to make money. If you aren’t on the streets they are in the red and if that doesn’t foster employee satisfaction I don’t know what does.

Have I been in an Uber accident – yes I have!

Contributor edit 2/11/2017:

Bill Forsyth, world renowned CEO of AppPax, lover of Mary Todd haircuts and all-around great guy was asked by me to add to this piece.  Bill Uber’s everywhere…unless it is within walking distance. He is my resident Uber expert and go to guy. Bill’s dope!!  Bill update your blog!!! (Forsyth: The Light Is On)

“Where are you located?”, the voice over the phone says to me. Aren’t you Uber? Why am I on the phone with you at all? You have it right in front of you. You are using the GPS why are you talking to me? You have a guide. Isn’t that the point of Uber? Why is it that everyone, but you, just shows up? “You don’t know anything about computers”? “What is the Internets”?? Cancel.

Dear readers, Atalaya is dooooooope! She is an amazing writer, super bright, super sexy, super funny, and an overall incredible person…so if you want to be entertained and enlightened, read her blog. That is all. Ciao.