This is like the movie color purple. Listening to me read what I write let’s me know that it’s impossible to listen, read and write at the same time with dignity.
My clothes are too small but I wear them anyway. I love Chick-fil-A lemonade. I have some cliche moments. It’s called trying too hard. What sticks shit and gets me into retirement?
I wanted to shoot for 15mins. It’s weird watching me listen to Black Panther, a TedTalk in the background and I’m reading and writing. I kill it. I use my bra as a holder of other things.
I’m getting new clothes. Black Panther to me was about being proud. Be proud in excellence. Be proud. Love what you do.
I write my goals everyday. I read them. I write them. They bring a smile to my face. I smile because these are MY goals. I remember working for huge corporations and the managers would disseminate the company goals. I was tasked the painful job of deciphering the high-level chicken scratch into human words relevant to my position. Those goals meant nothing to me because they weren’t meant for me. They are the COMPANY GOALS. They weren’t personal or catered to my needs. In fact, I was never informed if the company even met the goals they set in place. Where does this stuff come from?
I have blindly set goals in the past, not paying attention to their attainment or even recognizing that I’m standing in the middle of my own success. I didn’t feel accomplished. I was waiting for the outside recognition that never came. Personal or professional. Never feeling satisfied because the goals I carried weren’t for me. I was full of expectations placed upon me from family, friends, my environment and myself. My happiness had no foundation.
My life now is very different. No more huge corporations. No more meaningless goals that burden me rather than uplift and help me become the person I deserve to be. Everyday starts with gratitude, a meditating thought and prayer that this day brings me closer to bridging the gap between a dream deferred and a dream realized. Each day I gain a new awareness that it’s not about the how. My happiness is growing roots. Uncomfortable, yes. Scary, you betcha. Better, definitely.